The Care and Feeding of Humans (Fubsyverse) part 2

 Humans do not thrive in solitary conditions. They are a pack animal and need a pack around them. It is therefore recommended that you hire humans in groups of three or more. When reproducing, they need both sets of their binary reproduction system, but their sex does not play into the make up of work group dynamics.

Unlike the Tralls, for example, where the group needs to be a matched set of nine (three mating groups), an expedition group of humans can be all male or all female, or any mix of those.

While humans consider themselves to be sexually dimorphic (males can be hairier or bigger than females) in actual practice it is impossible for anyone, even humans themselves, to determine the sex of a given human by pure observation. (Human sexual dimorphism is <15% as a species, approaching <.01% in individual comparisons. In contrast, Tralls are >97% sexually dimorphic, so that they were not even regarded as the same species when they were first encountered.)
Dybbuk Review of Ontological Species Studies. The Care and Feeding of Humans, "Hiring Humans-The Perfect Mix.", published by Glass and Steele, The Care and Feeding of Humans, translation engine 3.14159


Nerif waited in the hold for the damaged human female to show up. How would she shake hands if the human was missing her right arm? Nerif thought back over her handshake with Allen and Nate. She would just hold out both hands and let Zoe pick which one she wanted to shake.

Time passed, and while Zoe was not in danger of being late, Nerif would certainly agree that her arrival was delayed. Maybe Zoe had stopped on the way to the ship to get a pet? All the literature agreed that humans needed companion animals.

In fact, the book "The Care and Feeding of Humans" specifically said that if humans were not allowed to bring their own animals with them, they were quite likely to adopt something that they "find" on the expedition. Usually, this would be announced by the human ritual saying of, "Look what followed me home! Can we keep him?". This was phrased as a question, but the book had cited several expedition failures when the response had been "no" and strongly suggested that the question was something humans called "rhetorical" which meant no response was expected.

She wondered with some trepidation if the Zoe would pick the smaller (but more unpredictably lethal) predator known as a "cat", or would she pick a larger predator known as "dog". Or something else? Humans were notorious in the wide range of animals they considered "pets". Would she be expected to touch the predator? Nerif shivered.

Just as her imagination started to really pick up steam about what kind and how many predators the Zoe might bring on board, a human stepped on to the deck, a bag tracking along behind her. It was definitely a "her". While "The Care And Feeding of Humans" had said that the sexual dimorphism between humans was less than 15% across the species, Nerif had no problem seeing the differences that marked Zoe as female. Her coloration was also much darker than either Nate or Allen, but not related to sexual dimorphism. She was also very tall for a human, coming almost to Nerif's shoulder.

However, Nerif blinked. When she'd ordered Zoe from the catalog, it had definitely said that she was missing an arm. This human female had two arms. Had she already regrown her arm?

"Nerif? I'm Zoe. Sorry I'm a little late." She smiled (it didn't touch her eyes, which were so dark they were almost black) and held out her right hand.

Nerif blinked. "You are not late for check in, but I'm afraid there may not be as much time for a tour of the ship before we take off." Nerif shook Zoe's hand. "Your pardon, but… have you already regrown your arm?"

Zoe frowned a little. "What?"

"You are a valuable human, with many valuable skills and a proven history of your use of those skills. Quite frankly, the only reason this expedition was able to afford three humans, one with your skill set, was because you were damaged and missing an arm. But," Nerif looked down and gestured at the two hands she could see.

"Ah." Zoe paused a moment, her face showing nothing that Nerif could see as an expression. "The Care And Feeding Of Humans" had said that reading human facial expressions was a skill that would take many years, but that sometimes no visible expression meant the human had been emotionally wounded by the conversation.

"I'm sorry," Nerif started. "I did not mean to offend."

"I'm not offended," Zoe cut her off with a gesture. "No, I have not regrown my arm. This is a prosthetic, see?" She slid the black sleeve of her jacket up, and there was a silver arm cuff just below the elbow, encircling Zoe's arm. "There's the joint. They at least made it look like jewelry, but it's still just a prosthetic."

"Amazing," Nerif bent over the arm. "I have read that humans have a long history of creating artificial limbs when one of your limbs is severed."

"Yeah, well," Zoe pushed her sleeve back down, ending Nerif's inspection. "I guess we do have long history at that. You people don't, right?"

Nerif stepped back and shook her head, proud that she had this human gesture down. "No. While it might have been valuable in some instances, if we lost a limb, we would not live long enough for a prosthetic to help us."

Zoe's face went blank again, and Nerif hesitated, not sure how she had offended.

"True," Zoe said and then straightened herself a little. "Anyway, regrowing an arm is expensive which is why I agreed to this expedition, even after swearing-" She stopped herself, lips pressed together and then switched topics. "If you could please have someone show me to my quarters?"

"Of course, I will take you there myself," Nerif said.

"No need. I assume you are busy before preflight," Zoe said.

"I am the liaison officer," Nerif said, with some pride. "It is my job and my pleasure to make sure the three of you are comfortable on this trip. If you will follow me." Nerif turned and headed down the same corridor that the droid had earlier led Allen and Nate.

Zoe took two long steps to catch up and walk beside Nerif, her luggage obediently trundling along behind. "So, there are three of us?"

Nerif nodded proudly. "I was able to argue for a budget big enough for three, so that you would not suffer from lack of human companionship on the trip or expedition."

"Peachy," Zoe muttered. "Who are the other two?"

"They are male humans. Allen and Nate. They are already in their quarters, so you can meet them soon. Oh, and I have navigation bracelets for all three of you."

Nerif paused in front of a door and pressed a button. She then gestured to Zoe, "Come and let the door scan you. Once you are scanned, you will have private access to your quarters, except in case of emergencies."

Zoe nodded, not even a false smile on her face. "It's not my first rodeo."

"Not my first rodeo? Oh, a cowboy expression meaning you have done this many times before. Nate also used a cowboy expression today. Are space cowboys common?"

"Nate and Allen are 'space cowboys'?" Zoe asked. Her voice sounded different and Nerif hesitated again. Humans were a mix of scary strong, dangerous, and fragile, and this very expensive human was already damaged. She didn't want to make things worse, so decided that honesty was the thing that might help most.

"I'm not sure," Nerif said. She mentally reviewed the conversation she'd had with the males. "Allen seemed to think not," she added. "Are space cowboys a bad thing?"

Zoe snorted, and Nerif immediately decided that she would practice that sound in her quarters tonight. Perhaps in the rejuvenation area, where no one else would hear her, until she got it right.

Zoe seemed to relax after the snort, and finished coding her room. When the door released, Zoe walked in and motioned her luggage to a corner near the bed. She looked around the room. Not as nice as the hospital where she had spent the last couple of months, but much nicer than any crew quarters she'd ever had before. The colors were in blues and greens, with hints of purple and reminded her of Nerif's coloring. The textures were rich and inviting, from a bedside table that seemed carved from driftwood, to the rich nubbly blue throw that covered the bed.

She looked up and noticed Nerif watching her intently. "If something is not to your liking," Nerif started to say, and Zoe waved her off and smiled. This smile, Nerif noticed, went all the way to Zoe's eyes. She had won her first smile from the female.

"No. This is great," Zoe said softly. "Did you decorate it? Or do all the quarters look like this?"

Nerif's normal light blue coloring shifted slightly to purple. Zoe was fascinated. It was like watching someone underwater, with waves of soft color flowing over her.

"Well," Nerif said, "All the quarters have a bed of one kind or another and a table. But I read in the catalog that you like to read and that your favorite colors are blues and greens, so I um…" Nerif trailed off.

Zoe's eyes seemed wetter than normal. Nerif couldn't see actual water coming out of them, so Zoe wasn't crying, but- Nerif mentally flailed around helplessly. "The Care And Feeding Of Humans" had never mentioned wet eyes.

Zoe turned away from Nerif abruptly and stripped off her jacket, taking care to load it into the closet. When she turned back to Nerif, her eyes were no longer wet. "Ah!" thought Nerif. "It was sweat. She was hot and took off her jacket, and now she is no longer sweating."

"You are familiar with how to adjust the climate controls for your quarters?" Nerif asked. When Zoe nodded, Nerif felt a flash of relief. While the temperature did not seem excessively hot to her, it was good to know that the Zoe could adjust it to match her needs. "Oh, your navigation bracelet." Nerif put one slender hand in a pocket and pulled out a bracelet and dial. "I don't think anything is scheduled before departure. We will have a meeting in the common room for last meal and briefing updates."

Zoe nodded. "Thank you."

"I'll give you time to unpack," Nerif said. "Unless you want a tour of the ship now?"

"No. Thank you," Zoe added the last part as almost an afterthought. "Maybe later."

Nerif nodded gravely. "Until later, then."

She left Zoe's room and once the door closed behind her, tapped her own navigation bracelet for the quarters of Allen and Nate. She'd been so excited to perform a handshake, she had forgotten to give them their bracelets.

Comments

Popular Posts