The Care and Feeding of Humans (Fubsyverse) part 3

 Make sure your humans have bonded to you, before you embark on your expedition. Fortunately, humans bond easily and just being near them will cause them to bond with you. There are some that say humans require gifts to bond, but we would refer you to the history of Expedition Sloosh and what happened when the humans were given gifts. It's best to just make sure they have fresh food and water, and plenty of exercise, and that they can access you whenever they need to.

Dybbuk Review of Ontological Species Studies. The Care and Feeding of Humans, "Human Bonding.", published by Glass and Steele, The Care and Feeding of Humans, translation engine 3.14159

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Nerif headed to the common room early, determined to secure prime seating for herself and the three humans. When she arrived, the three were already there, eating some fruit and cutting it up with knives. They looked like, Nerif shivered with guilty excitement remembering the stories she had read, but they looked like pirates.

"Ah, here's our patron now," Nate said as Nerif stepped through the opening. Nerif walked up to their table and sat down. "So, what's the scuttlebutt about this expedition?" Nate asked. "A deathworld, right? That's why you hired three humans. You want the meanest, toughest, badassest creatures at your back to help you investigate a deathworld."

Zoe rolled her eyes. "Stuff a sock in it, Nate" she said. "You start spinning tales about humans and how they're filled with acid, or can read people's minds, or track you in the dark through sound alone, and you're going to regret it when they drop you on that planet with no backup."

Nerif coughed. According to 'The Care And Feeding Of Humans', the sound could indicate either a potentially life threatening problem or a desire to speak. When the humans turns to face her, she realized she'd gotten the sound level right.

"Nate is at least partially correct. This is a deathworld. We are the second expeditionary force. The first one did only a scan from high orbit. The initial scan rates it a two or a three on the deathworld scale."

Allen snorted. "Three, that's nothing. Earth rates a 10. Heck, Australia alone is a 8. Hawaii is 3, and that's a garden paradise."

Nerif nodded, her feathers flat and solemn. "We hope you are correct, Allen. However, even humans die on Hawaii. And we are less likely to survive a 3 without you to help us."

"The expedition leader will be here soon," Nerif continued. "They will explain the details of the mission and how the first fly by was able to classify it as a class 3."

At that Zoe grabbed some more food, a complex cooked solid grain product, and tucked it in her leg pocket. As soon as they saw what Zoe was doing, Nate and Allen started hiding food away, too. Nerif's feathers rose with excitement.

She'd heard the phrase 'squirreling food away' and even seen a video of a squirrel (an Earth rodent with a fluffy tail and a lot of nervous energy) stuffing food into his cheeks, but she didn't really get the phrase until now. Admittedly, her Earth friends were not stuffing the food into their mouths, but the actions of stuffing food into various pockets reminded her strongly of the video of the squirrel.

"You said, 'they'," Zoe said, while tucking an unopened can into a bag she had slung around her hips. "The expedition leader is Kree?"

Nerif nodded. "Yes."

"Wait," Allen said. "How did you know that?"

Zoe nodded at Nerif. "She said 'they' would come tell us the details. I don't know all the races in The Aggregate, but I know at least one that uses the the plural pronoun for individuals. The Kree."

Nate shook his head and poked Allen in the side. "Pay up, partner," he said, and pulled a couple coins out of his pocket and slapped them on the table in front of Zoe. Allen slid his across the table, like small skater bugs. Nerif watched with interest as Zoe scooped up the coins and dropped them in her bag.

"Pleasure doing business with you, boys," she said, and swung her long legs out from under the table, so her back was against the table, just as the expedition leader and the other members of the expedition walked in.

Nerif started, her feathers puffing up and then immediately back down, but she saw the humans hadn't been surprised at all. "How did you know," Nerif said quietly.

"Humans have really good hearing," Nate said, just as quietly. "We could hear them walking down the hall."

As the liaison officer, it was Nerif's responsibility to introduce all the members of the team to each other. Species were never mentioned, but she introduced each person with the special skills they brought to the team.

"The team, as usual, will consist of one Hand on the ground, and one Hand on the ship."

As Nerif introduce the Hand that would stay on the ship, Zoe, Allen and Nate (in that order) realized that it was pretty much everyone. The biologist, climatologist, geologist, virologist, and two other "ists" were all staying on the ship.

On the away team were two droids and-

"Allen is our first bodyguard. His special skill is being human. Nate is our second bodyguard. His special skill is being human. Zoe is our third body guard. Her special skill is being human AND have survived four deathworld explorations," Nerif announced this last triumphantly. Being able to hire three humans, one with Zoe's skill set, was quite a coup, and she wanted to share the details of the transaction with the rest of the team. She left out the parts about Zoe's damage, because that made the deal seem…not bad exactly, but less impressive.

Zoe coughed. "It seems our hand is a little short. Six are staying on board, and three are going down to the surface."

"Oh, no," Nerif said earnestly. "There are six of us. You three, me and my two nesters."

"Oh hell no," Zoe said. "You and your 'nesters' are staying on board with everyone else. Give us an extra droid, and we'll call it six on the away team."

"But Zoe," Nerif protested. "We must go. I am the liaison officer, and as head of my nest, my nesters must come with me. Besides, Querif is our shuttle pilot and Terif is our chef."

Zoe stood up and stormed from the room. If the doors on the ship could have been slammed shut, Nerif was pretty sure Zoe would have slammed it behind her. As it was, the door closed with a gentle hiss.

Nate stood up. "Don't worry about a little temper," he said to the team. "You know us humans. We get angry, it blows over. She'll be fine by the time we land."

Allen stood up, too. "Yeah, what he said. And we should um, probably follow her and talk to her." Allen pulled at Nate's sleeve. "See you tomorrow for breakfast."

The two males followed Zoe out the door as quickly as she had left, but not nearly the amount of anger that she had projected.

"Nerif," the captain said. "Have you offended our humans?"

"No!" Nerif said, worry making her feathers flat on top and fluff out around her shoulders. "I, I don't think so. I only showed them to their rooms. That was all."

Nerif thought about Zoe's strange reaction when Nerif had shown off the bedroom. Surely Zoe hadn't been offended by that. Nerif had asked!

"Well, that first human… which one was that? They all look alike to me," said the captain.

"No sir," Nerif objected. "They are very different. Allen is the palest and Zoe is the darkest, and Nate is right in the middle."

"But what if there are only two of them? Or one? How do you know which one is which?" T've asked. T've was the biologist, so the question was probably just academic.

"Well, Zoe is female. She's also the tallest. She's very tall for a human and comes up to almost my shoulder," Nerif explained.

"Discuss this later," the captain interrupted. "Right now, you have to fix this. We need these humans to be bonded to us before we make landfall. We're already stretching out the trip to the new planet for two weeks to give them time to bond with us. If we need more time, we'll need more supplies. Go find out what the issue is, and fix it. You are the liaison officer."

Nerif bowed her head, "Immediately, sir."

She left the common area and touched her bracelet. "Where is Zoe?" The bracelet responded, and Nerif followed the blue light that appeared before her.